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Monday, August 26, 2013

Just Say No-No


(originally published at Gingersnaps in the Morning)

The No-No Hole 

Ginger: This is my term for your butt hole and is self-explanatory regarding my my feeling about it. 


Spank: "No, go ahead and explain it.  Tell us how you really feel."


Ginger: "I feel like there is only one use for the no-no hole.  It's a one-way street, one direction only."


Spank: "So It's okay if it's Harry Styles?"





Ginger:" I have no idea who that is, but that doesn't change my mind about the no-no hole.  I mean, there is nothing worse than reading a good book with a steamy love scene, where all the sudden someone sticks their finger up the other person's no-no hole.  Kills the mood, and makes me want to throw my Kindle." 



Spank: "What if it's not a finger?"


Ginger: *pauses to avoid gagging*  "That's even worse.  Owwww.  I call it a no-no hole for a reason.  No back door passes for me.  Nuh uh.  No way.  Not gonna happen."


Spank: "There are some men that get a free pass."


Ginger: "I'm not even gonna ask.  No seriously, if you're reading a steamy love scene and someone sticks their finger up the no-no hole, that doesn't affect you one bit?"


Spank: "Oh it affects me."


Ginger: O_o  "Okay, I was reading this one story.  During the love scene the guy stuck his finger up the girl's no-no hole and after they were done, they fell asleep.  Did the guy wash and disinfect his finger before falling asleep??? Does he know there is e.coli on his finger?"


Spank: "Did you ever think it's finger-licking good?"


Ginger: *ignores that question*  "I mean, he could give himself (or her) pink eye if he didn't disinfect his finger after!!


Spank: "PINK EYE!!!  hahahahaha.  That's what you're concerned about?!"


Ginger: "That's just one of MANY concerns about business with the no-no hole". 


Spank: "Good sex is supposed to be dirty."


Ginger: " *sigh* Well if someone insists on getting "dirty" with the no-no hole, the least they can do is wear Shittens.


Spank: "What the Hell are Shittens?"


Ginger: "They're disposable wipes in the shape of mittens, for keeping your hands sanitary while dealing with poo. 






They even wrote a song about it."







Spank: "Now I've seen everything."







12 COMMENTS:

  1. Shittens are $10 per 20 count package. At $.50 a pop, they should be reserved for sex.
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    1. Are they really that expensive? Damn! You can use surgical gloves for much less money!
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  2. I don't think I'm ever going to get over the, "finger-licking good" comment! This was the funniest thing I've read in a long time. LOVE when Spank and Ginger get together. Looking forward to the next special.

    BTW - I have no problem when reading a steamy scene that includes the no-no hole (Lover at Last was one of my favourites of the BDB series) but for my own life, I'm with you. One way street.
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    1. Carolyn, I'll never forget we were having this discussion on Twitter and you said you don't go there, you're Canadian. I don't know that I've ever laughed that hard. But I just can't take it in my book love scenes. Seriously, I don't care whatever other people do with their no-no holes, but I don't want to read about it. And that is why "Lover at Last" is the only BDB book I haven't read. Cause I knew it was going to involve the no-no hole.
      Delete
    2. LOVER AT LAST! OMG I LOVE LOVE LOVE Blay and Qhuinn, and their no-no holes!
      Delete
    3. Sex tips from Canadians. You will notice that the no-no hole is not included.
      http://www.theloop.ca/living/love/photo-gallery/-/p/7234/6-sex-moves-you-need-to-update/2704895
      Delete


  3. Replies




    1. haha yep. We REALLY went there. These are just some of the many things Spank and I talk about, LOL.
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  4. I totally know what shittens are...>.>

    -Heathet
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  5. That should read HEATHER not Heathet.......wtf is a Heathet?!
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  6. I love us. In fact, I went to link this post to one of my comments on my blog and typed in www.gingerspanksinthemorning.com -- that's a WHOLE other thing... #gingerspanksme
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  7. This ties into the funniest scene in that movie, Ted. I laughed so hard. Then I fast-forwarded to the end.
    ReplyDelete

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